It just dawned on me that the first aircraft I was brave enough to get into was an Ethiopian airline plane to Addis Ababa. To see someone. But that …. is a story for another day. It just occurred to me as I penned this intro and was looking for something nostalgic about my first KQ experience, sadly though, I cannot seem to remember the very first flight I had. Like most of KQ customers I have a bitter sweet relationship with the airline, and I do feel terrible that the pride of Africa is losing height. Fast. Here’s some observations and very (useful) information if any of you ever becomes an airline CEO and need to bring it down.
A STEP- BY- STEP GUIDE TO BRINGING DOWN AN AIRLINE
1.Ensure staff morale is at an all time low. Do not motivate or respect your staff, remember to dismiss employees and at every opportune moment, slash allowances and salaries. Make sure you lose your best minds to other airlines.
2.Do not create goodwill or loyalty from employees, this will then create abundant space for corruption.
3. Try your best to get a raw deal from so-called partners who must not share a vision with your airline. Never re-negotiate partnerships.
4. Introduce irrelevant departments with overpaid heads. Make use of as many consultants as you can who are paid to do nothing.
5. Over price your ticketing and do not care what competitors charge.
6. Withdrew from routes that make money to pave way for partner airlines.
7.Ensure your board is complacent and has as little knowledge on aviation as possible.
8.Hire expatriate cabin crew, they should stay in expensive hotels at all times, ensure you ignore multilingual Kenyans sending in CV’s for these positions.
9.Hedge your fuel for long periods of time under arrangements that will not profit the airline.
10.Make sure flight cancellations are frequent, the angier the customers, the closer you are to your ultimate goal.
11.Buy aircraft that everyone warns you against. Buy many of them actually, especially if they are expensive to maintain, with wanting cargo capacity in a market with high demand for cargo carriers. Ensure you pale in comparison to your competitors who have bigger equipment.
12. Import all your inflight items from Europe and other expensive markets.
13. Don’t bother with the procurement guys, whether it is aircraft parts or fuel, they know best.
14.Hang on to your old fleet however expensive they are to maintain and fuel.
Feel free to add your pointers to the list.